Members of the media:

First, I would like to thank you all for attending this press conference.   I know that Dodger fans all over the world are counting on me to take this team to the next level.
I would like to thank ownership for believing in me and seeking me out to do this job.  I know that there are many people qualified for this job and it is extremely flattering that ownership set their eyes on me and sought to make me the next General Manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers.
Now, for the business at hand.  I would like to announce that my first act as General Manager of this storied franchise is to make a personnel move that might have a dramatic impact on the future of this team and will shock Dodger fans everywhere. 
I hereby resign as General Manager.
I know that millions of people will be outraged by the boldness of my resignation, the proverbial biting of the hand that feeds you.  How many millions of people wish they could be in my shoes, with the belief that they can bring a World Championship to Los Angeles for the first time since 1988?  (For those of you who are not sure, Anaheim is NOT Los Angeles.)
But I must confess that the best thing for the Los Angeles Dodgers is to hire someone else.  I am not a good choice for General Manager and here is the reason:  I love this team too much.
I have come to realize that to be an effective General Manager, you cannot be emotional and you cannot be a fan.  And I am both; I love the Dodgers and I am a huge fan.   
To be a good General Manager you have to remember one thing:  baseball is a business.  Sure it is a kids’ game played by adults, but it is still a business.  And like all employees of a business, you need to perform.  What have you done for me lately is a common theme.  I still get goose-bumps when I walk into the Dodger Stadium.  I still get goosebumps when I think about my heroes who have worn the Dodger uniform.  They are part of my family, which is my downfall.  Trade Russell Martin?  No way.  Bench Manny Ramirez?  Are you kidding?  Send Matt Kemp down to the minor leagues?  Can’t do it.  I am too passionate about my team.  I am still too much of a fan, too blinded by my love for the Dodgers to believe that any one of those players could be detrimental to the team’s success.
As many of you know, before ownership asked me to be the General Manager, I was a practicing attorney.  I found that as an attorney I was better able to separate myself from the passions of my clients.  It was easier to be clinical, to be logical.  To think with my brain and not my heart.  And that is always a challenge.  The clients all want to convince you of their desire, to make you believe that they are on the side of right, and to create within you an emotional tie to their plight.  But that is the challenge, to appear motivated by the clients’ desires while sustaining an emotional distance so as to maintain lucidity for the task at hand.  It is a delicate balance but one that I was able to accomplish in the practice of law.
I would not be so capable should I remain as the General Manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers.  And you know what, I don’t want to have to maintain that balance.  I enjoy being a fan; in fact, I love it.  I love celebrating the team’s successes and mourning its failures.  I love rooting for its players and thinking that they can do no wrong, that they are super-heroes with incomparable strengths and skills.  I truly believe that the baseball experience and that of being a Dodger fan would suffer greatly should I be forced to think with my brain and not my heart. 
I enjoy thinking with my heart.  I enjoy being irrational with my expectations of greatness.  I enjoy taking it personally when people think my team is not as good as I believe it to be.
I enjoy… no, I LOVE, being a Dodger fan.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Thank you.