Cross Your T’s And Dot Your Lower Case J’s

Well friends, another Cohen Family Adventure is in the bag.  The wedding went off without a hitch (who knew that champagne won’t stain a wedding dress?) and then it was to the magical lands of Disney World.  Four separate theme parks with four distinct identities.  The Magic Kingdom for the purists with Small World and Dumbo, Epcot Center for the futuristic and adventurous, Animal Kingdom for the zoologically inclined, and Hollywood Studios for those who can’t get close enough to Hollywood, California to see “real” stars.

 But, despite the differences of the four parks, one constant amongst them all, something that sets them apart from virtually every other amusement park:  attention to detail.  Because Disney is not catering to the thrill-seekers and the daredevils, they are catering to those who are looking for an experience.

 For example, take the World Showcase at Epcot Center.  The World Showcase is basically a large shopping mall, but instead of going store to store, you go country to country, and in each country you can enjoy that country’s food, drink, architecture, and culture.  It is not uncommon to see the risk-takers attempt to drink their way through the World Showcase, sampling the variety of cocktails that each county has to offer.  (It is a heavy task, and I only got as far as Japan before I had to quit for fear of tripping over the Eiffel Tower.)  But check this out:  Disney ensures that only residents of that country are working in the pavilion.  So, if you go to Norway, only Norwegians are serving food or working in the stores.  The same is true for France, China, Canada (eh!) and Morocco, just to name a few.  See, Disney understands that their patrons may not actually get to all of the countries in the World Showcase, so they bring the countries to their patrons.  It is all about the experience.

 And the kids fall all over themselves to have their pictures taken with their heroes, Mickey and Minnie and Tigger and Pooh.  These people in costumes are real to them and why shouldn’t they be?  When my daughter talked to The Little Mermaid, it was actually her, not some hot red head with a clamshell bra.

 ROB, GET TO THE POINT!  Is there any tie-in here to the real world instead of Fantasyland?  Of course… there always is, right? 

 People continue to visit Disneyland and its parks because of the experience, because of the attention to detail, and because of the concerted effort to maintain a focus on the experience of the patrons.  Aren’t we, as professionals, seeking the same things?  To have our clients stay with us, return to us, and recommend us.  And they will do that because of the experience they have working with us, our authenticity, our attention to detail, and our focus on their needs and wants.  The same reason why millions of families make the pilgrimage to Disney Parks every year.  They could go to Hawaii or Europe or on a cruise, and they do.  But based on what I saw this past week, they still flock in droves to those magical lands… Oh yeah, and by the way, they still spend money like it is going out of style.

 So, my mission for 2010 is to Disney-fy myself.  When many of my clients come to me, this is the first time they are seeing a lawyer.  I want to make it an experience they won’t forget, that they will appreciate, and that they will remember when it comes time to either re-engage a lawyer or refer their friends.  It starts with attention to detail…  

 A preview for next week: New Year’s Resolutions… or not, depends on what happens this week.  🙂

Pyrotechnics

Being a parent is a humbling experience, something that I was reminded of (again) while my daughter was fighting a losing battle with the stomach flu.  This was on top of having to receive 3(!) shots on Monday at her 4-year old check-up.  It is times like these where you truly feel powerless.

 There is nothing quite as amusing and saddening (at the same time) as watching the face of a little girl who doesn’t understand why vomit is flying out of her mouth.  You can see the confusion on her face as it works its way up from her tummy, burns through the throat, and then seeks freedom to the couch and carpet below.  And of course, it has to be a pretty yet ugly pink color that lands on the white carpet, an everlasting reminder of the joy that was the stomach flu.  At times like these, what do you do?  Do you stick out your hands to catch it?  Do you pick her up and carry her to the bathroom?  And if you do pick her up, which way do you hold her?  Facing you so you receive the brunt of the pyrotechnics or facing away from you so that it lands on the floor and then you have to jump over it?

 Well friends, it is at those times that I consider that perhaps becoming an attorney was not the best thing for my family.  When I was 3 years old I wanted to be a doctor, specifically, a pediatrician.  My pediatrician was terrific, partly because he never gave me the shots, it was those mean nurses who did it.  Being a doctor means always being able to get nurses to do the dirty work.

 No, being a doctor means never feeling powerless, always knowing the right answer and never having to worry if the information in the “Baby 411” books is accurate.  Is it colic or is it upset stomach or is it gas?  A doctor knows.  Is it an ear infection, a headache, or just a fever?  A doctor knows.  Is it the flu or is it an allergic reaction?  A doctor knows.  And if the doctor doesn’t know, he/she gets to use the standard lines: “We have seen a lot of this lately.  It seems to be going around.”  A completely evasive answer, yet we completely eat it up.  Just like my previous analogy to flight attendants, if the doctor is calm and unconcerned, there is nothing to worry about.

 And you get to play with all of those cool toys!  Seriously, why are they called instruments if they don’t make noise?  Haven’t you ever wondered what the doctor sees when he uses that thingee to look in your ear and up your nose?  On Monday he said he saw Snow White in Brooklyn’s ear… kids put all kinds of things in their ears, don’t they?

To complete the story, though, my desire to become a doctor ended when I turned 14 and had to dissect a frog.  I really had some problems with that and I was off the medical school track. So, since it is too late to go to medical school, I will request that for the holidays my family and friends purchase DVDs for St. Elsewhere, ER, Grey’s Anatomy, Chicago Hope, and any other medical themed shows.  I have a lot to learn…

Of course, if I had it to do over again and could not be a doctor, then I would absolutely become a hairdresser.  I can’t make a pony tail to save my life… And everyone knows, cute hair is the key to success.  

Although, I just watched “Taken” again with Liam Neeson.  In order to protect my daughter, do I need to learn 8 different ways to kill a man with a spork?  Could come in handy.  Anyone want to give me lessons?

So Bleak

In case you didn’t know, I love to read. I am never without a book close by, typically fiction, but sometimes nonfiction, and also some classics. Remember how boring and hideous some of those “classics” were when we had to read them in school? Who really wanted to read “The Canterbury Tales” anyways or “Great Expectations”? Well, is it possible that we resisted those readings because they were foisted on us? I thought so, which is why I have endeavored, on occasion, to pick up a classic and see if any part of it still resonates. I found that “A Tale of Two Cities” definitely did (a love story set against the backdrop of political strife) and I thought that maybe “Bleak House”, perhaps Charles Dickens’ best-reviewed novel, would as well. Couldn’t have been more true, especially in the context of my profession.

“Bleak House” is a 900 pager examining the court system and the people affected by a lengthy probate matter (of which the actual facts are never completely explained) and if you can stomach a novel of that size, you will see throughout the novel Dickens lashing out at the court system, how its sole purpose is to create work for itself, and how everyone associated with it ends up miserable. Still true today in some respects, don’t you agree?

But one passage obviously hit me hard and I wanted to share it with you. It is Dickens’ characterziation of one of the attorneys involved in the case:

“Mr. Vholes is a very respectable man. He has not a large business, but he is a very respectable man. He is allowed by the greater attorneys who have made good fortunes or are making them to be a most respectable man. He never misses a chance in his practice, which is a mark of respectability. He never takes any pleasure, which is another mark of respectability. He is reserved and serious, which is another mark of respectability. His digestion is impaired, which is highly respectable.”

I absolutley love the fact that one of the main charactertistics of a “respectable” attorney is that he has bad digestion and that this is something to be savored.

While I won’t get into whether I qualify as “respectable” against Dickens’ standards, I just found it amusing.

Have a good week and pray that my digestion is impaired.

Tora, Tora, Tora

Happy December 7th! Take a second to remember the thousands of servicemen who were killed in the surprise attack at Pearl Harbor on this date in 1941.

If you have been reading these past weeks, you probably have wondered why I am so intense in my emails. Well, in all honesty, sometimes the emails just plain write themselves. I get an idea and then I am off and running, wherever my keyboard takes me.

So for this week, I thought I would diverge slightly and confess to things that I am either ashamed of or that you would be surprised to know about me. Please do your best to not view me in a different light because of the things you are about to learn.

1) I am not a fan of Law & Order or any of the other legal dramas on television. I typically don’t even like legal thriller movies. Ok, so I admit I did enjoy “Jury Duty” with Pauly Shore, but otherwise, watching these shows and movies gives me the feeling that people have been following me with cameras and taping my life. They are just too real…

2) I would be very hard-pressed to name songs performed by the following bands: Pink Floyd, Phish, The Grateful Dead, Rush, Tom Petty, Steely Dan, James Taylor, and John Lennon. I am a huge fan of music, but these artists never found a place in my catalogue. Although I can name every song performed by the Bee Gees.

3) In keeping with my musical confessions, I have probably been to over 100 concerts in my lifetime but have never seen Bruce Springsteen or U2 or The Rolling Stones or Metallica. I have seen The Suicide Machines and Rocket From The Crypt at least ten times, in toto. Isn’t five Suicide Machines concerts equal to one Eric Clapton, or something like that?

4) I am a huge fan of movies but I have never seen the following: Gone With The Wind, Casablanca, It’s A Wonderful Life, Miracle on 24th Street, or Lawrence of Arabia. I have seen Caddyshack 2 multiple times, though, so that qualifies. And, this being the holiday season, my favorite Christmas movie of all time is Die Hard.

5) I am an avid reader, as you may recall, but I haven’t read any of the following books: The Catcher in the Rye, The Grapes of Wrath, The Great Gatsby, Animal Farm, or To Kill A Mockingbird. I have read, however, The Nymphos of Rocky Flats which I am sure is on all of your Top 10 lists.

6) I actually understand the infield fly rule: With men on first and second, or first, second and third and less than two outs, a batter hits a fairly hit fly ball which an umpire, in his judgment, feels should be caught by an infielder, the batter is automatically out and the runners may advance at their own risk; however if the ball is caught by the fielder, the runners must tag up before they may advance. The infielder does not need to actually catch the ball for the batter to be out. (Had to throw some baseball in there, right?)

7) When I was 5 years old my mom and dad took me to see “Raiders Of The Lost Ark” instead of “The Fox and The Hound” like I wanted. I am glad to see that Raiders of The Lost Ark has fallen into obscurity and The Fox and The Hound won all of those Academy Awards. Who was right, huh mom?

8) My favorite landmark to visit is the World’s Tallest Thermometer in Baker, California. Of course, I haven’t seen the World’s Largest Ball of Twine yet. Darwin, Minnesota, here I come!

9) When I was in 8th grade I got kicked out of Student Government because I could not color inside the lines.

And finally…

10) Two weeks ago I paid for a soda with a Canadian coin. This one really flummoxed me. Was I wrong to re-introduce the Canadian coin into United States commerce? Seriously, how did I get the Canadian coin in the first place? Someone gave it to me as part of change on a purchase. So who was I to deprive that coin of its rightful place in United States currency?

Please forgive me for all of my transgressions… and have a great week.

Little People

Well friends, I had it all planned out.  Today’s email was going to be the play-by-play of my dream day.  No, not a “Date with the head cheerleader” day, but the day that I took the field at Angel Stadium and lived out a childhood dream to be a Major League Baseball Player.  Ok, here is the short version– 3 hits, 2 runs scored, 2 runs batted in, 1 stolen base… oh yeah, and a 22-8 victory…

 No, that all changed after I noticed something about my entertainment choices for the weekend.  I saw two seemingly dissimilar movies this weekend (on DVD; come on people, I have a 4 year old, I don’t go to movies anymore!).  I saw “Inglorious Basterds” from Quentin Tarantino and “Defiance” starring James Bond himself, Daniel Craig.  You may not be familiar with the latter film– it was based on the true story of a family of Jewish brothers in World War II Russia who found a way to rise up against the Germans and survive through to the end of the war, in the process saving over 1,000 Jews from being transported to the camps.

 “Basterds,” by comparison, was a fantasy film, a reversal of fortune, where a small cadre of Jewish soldiers unites for one purpose… “Killing Nazis.” 

 Well, one was obviously a tongue-in-cheek comic book-ish re-write of history and the other was a “little man defies the odds” true story.  While both dealt with Jews fighting back, I found a more compelling similarity between films.  They both dealt with a small band of people who became so powerful and feared that entire armies were dedicated to eliminating them.  Can you believe it, in both films, the legend of these small bands of soldiers reached the upper echelons of the military that mountains were moved to find and eradicate them?

 So it got me to thinking… can one person really make a difference?  History is filled with people like this.  Whether it was John Brown and his fellow abolitionists at Harper’s Ferry, Oskar Schindler and Raoul Wallenberg in World War II, or Harvey Milk (thanks Sean Penn!), history is rife with people just like you and me who made a difference.  And they didn’t do it for the accolades, they didn’t do it for the money, and they certainly didn’t do it so that they would be written about in history books.  They did it because they had the conviction and the determination to be leaders, to be defiant, to be glorious.  (Sorry Quentin, there was nothing inglorious about them.) 

 Where does that leave us?  I really don’t know.  Do I have it in me to be that leader, that game-changer, that hero?  I know a lot of you do…

 Rob!  Quit with the hero worship!!  Sorry, I can’t.  What can I say, I like it when the good guys win, and sometimes, they do so against insurmountable odds…

 This week I am thinking about how I can make a difference.  Who is with me?

Princesses

It has always been my intention to avoid certain topics in my communications.  Religion, politics, racial issues… and I promise I am going to stick to it.  I promise, this one is not about race!

 Have you seen any of the commercials or posters for Disney’s new animated film, “The Princess and The Frog?”  As the father of an almost four-year old daughter I am well aware of when the movie comes out (December 11) and who the main character is (Princess Tiana).  But one thing that my daughter has not educated me on is the color of Princess Tiana’s skin.  If you have seen the commercials then you already know, Princess Tiana is African-American.

 Many of you know that my brother and many of my good friends are in the animation industry and are responsible for some of the biggest animated blockbuster films of recent years, “Monsters v. Aliens,” “Bolt,” “Chicken Little,” and “Shrek” just to name a few.  As a result, I am fairly tuned in to animated films.  I have known about “The Princess and The Frog” basically since it was conceived by Disney.  And I have also been well aware of its controversy.  Controversy, you may ask?  An animated film?  Well, I have said it time and again and this is no different:  Disney Animation is held to a higher standard than any other animation studio.  Disney’s films are critiqued more heavily and are examined more carefully than any other studio’s animated films. 

 Consider some of the criticisms of “The Princess and The Frog.”  First, it was originally entitled “The Frog Princess,” but there was some outcry as to the perception that since the Princess was African-American, some correlation would be made between frogs and African-Americans.  Second, the original name of the Princess was “Maddy,” but some criticized the name as sounding too “slave-like.”  Next, the original Princess character was a chambermaid, although some felt this was demeaning to African-Americans as well.  And I am not even going to go into the criticisms about the music for the film and it’s having been composed by a white person. 

 Many of those changes were made, however the current controversy is that while the Princess is African-American, the Prince is not (it is unclear as to his nationality, but it is not African-American).

 Look, I know racism is still out there.  One hundred and forty-five years after slavery was abolished and some people still don’t understand that it was wrong.  But I return to my go-to line:  Some people fail to see the forest for the trees.  Instead of looking for reasons to criticize, why not applaud the ground-breaking nature of this film.  It is the first film to have an African-American Princess!  It is absolutely ground-breaking and should be heralded, not condemned.

 I don’t profess to know the way to eradicate racism.  What I can tell you is this:  my daughter is the future of this world and so far, she knows nothing about different skin colors.  Princess Tiana is not African-American, she is a Princess and that is all my daughter cares about.  I may be naive and I may even be wrong.  But society has looked to heroes to break barriers.  Jackie Robinson, Jesse Owens, Barack Obama… Princess Tiana.  My daughter compares her equally to Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella.  She doesn’t see them as any different; they are all Princesses.

 As Whitney Houston said:  “I believe the children are our future…”

So what if my daughter told me her Princess Tiana doll wears bloomers under her dress because she poops herself? 

I have a new hero this week… and her name is Princess Tiana and all of the wonderful people who have brought her to life.

 

Neverland

I won’t grow up,
I don’t want to wear a tie.
And a serious expression
In the middle of July.
And if it means I must prepare
To shoulder burdens with a worried air,
I’ll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up
Not ME…

Remember when we were young? When we couldn’t wait to grow up? Oh how cool it would be to never have to go to school again, to buy anything you want, and to stay up late on school nights…

And remember when our parents would ask, “Why are you in such a hurry to grow up? Stay a kid for as long as possible.” We would think that our parents were crazy! How could they honestly tell us that having to go to school everyday was better than the freedom they had to go to movies on weekdays? Who wants to do homework?!?!?!

Well, I was one of those kids who could not wait to be a grown-up. And now, I have a 4 year old daughter who tells me that she can’t wait to grow up and all I can say is, “Why are you in such a hurry to grow up? Stay a kid for as long as possible.”

So how do I combat being a grown up? Do I allow myself to get bogged down in ring around the collar and soapscum, two things I had only heard of in commercials before I became a grown up? (Remember when the only thing we knew about a mortgage was that if you needed one you were about to lose in Monopoly?)

Some of you know my strategy. I stay young by going to rock concerts and screaming my lungs out. I still play baseball once a week where I try to hit a ball coming at me at 80 miles per hour (except I have to squint to see the ball nowadays). I still watch cartoons, although they certainly are not The Smurfs and The Snorks. (Seriously, wasn’t The Snorks just The Smurfs under water?) I still go to Dodger Games, even sometimes on weeknights, and get butterflies in my stomach when I set sight on that beautiful diamond, it never gets old. And I still have dinner with my mom and dad at least one night a week. Something about home cooking, even if it is delivered.

We talked before about seeing the forest through the trees. To me, the trees represents being a grown up and all the things grown ups have to do and be responsible for. But the forest, that is the whole circle of life and I intend to have as much fun as I can while I am living it and not let being a grown-up become too much of a focus that I lose sight of the fun in life. I will still be a responsible adult, but isn’t it ok to sometimes let my hair down, while I still have it?

I WON’T GROW UP… NOT ME…

NOT I!

Disclose Disclose Disclose

Let’s talk a little about the real estate market.  In order for the real estate market to recover, people will have to go out and buy homes.  When the market is down and selling a home is more difficult, homeowners struggle with how much to disclose about the property.  Consider this scenario:

 The property has been listed for 200 days with no takers and the list price has been knocked down twice already.  Finally, the homweowner gets a bite, someone is interested.  An offer is made and it is below the already twice reduced list price, but the homeowner is so disenchanted with the process and desperate for a sale that the offer is accepted.  Now comes the important part, the disclosure period when all of the ins and outs of the property are revealed to the purchaser.  But what does the homeowner tell them?  He or she doesn’t want to tell them that some unpermitted construction was done on the property, or that the roof leaks, or that 5 years ago the plumbing system failed and flooded the house and no remediation efforts were undertaken.

 Any one of those disclosures could cause the purchaser to request a reduction in the purchase price or, even worse, cause the purchaser to walk away from the property.

 So what does the homeowner do?  The answer:  ALWAYS DISCLOSE EVERYTHING

 The California Civil Code requires that anything that might materially affect the value or desirability of the property must be disclosed.  Who should make that decision?  My suggestion, it would be easier to disclose everything than try to convince a judge or jury that the  piece-meal electrical system that was rigged in the kitchen was not material.  My rule of thumb, then, disclose, disclose, disclose…

 Back to the more important issue.  I haven’t asked for too much audience participation, but I would like to know at least who is out there.  So do me a favor.  If you are reading this, please reply to this email in some fashion.  It doesn’t have to be much, even just a “yes” would suffice.  But I just want to know who is reading.

 Have a great week and when in doubt, disclose.

Oh Stewardess…

Well friends, last week addressed my search for inspiration.  This week, there is enough for three or four of these communications.  It was such a busy week.  Do we discuss the Dodgers and their failure to advance to the World Series?  Do we discuss the death of a loved one and how families cope?  Do we even tackle the more difficult issue of how to explain to a 4 year-old what death is and why great-grandma is in a box, open for all to see?

 No, I think I will focus on a characteristic we all have and need to perfect: that of the flight attendant. 

 In travelling back to Ohio this past weekend for the funeral, I was once again reminded of the important job that flight attendants have.  No, not just handing out drinks and peanuts (funny, they didn’t seve any peanuts on our flights), but the job of maintaining order and calm.

 Air travel is a nerve-wracking endeavor for many people.  Some have even sworn off flying because of their fears.  And yet the flight attendants do it every day, spending hours upon hours flying the friendly (and sometimes not so friendly) skies. 

 I have flown all over the world and, in all fairness, I don’t particularly like it very much.  But there is some sense of calm and comfort emitted from the flight attendants.  The flight attendants have been through all kinds of turbulence, emergency landings, and other in-flight emergencies.  But if they keep smiling, keep acting as if everything is fine, the nervous passengers will cling to that as a demonstration that the plane is safe.  Even when the pilot requests that the flight attendants put their seat belts on during particularly rough turbulence, they smile, they chit-chat, they act normal.

 All of us have clients who come to us for monumental life-events, whether it be entrusting us with the money they have worked their entire life to save, entrusting us to draft a document that will ensure that their post-death wishes are observed, or utilizing their information to obtain the best-possible result, whatever the effort may be.  Any in most situations, this is the client’s first foray into our area of expertise.

 I have told my clients time and again, when they express concern or nervousness about their matter, that they take their cues from me.  As long as I am calm and collected and acting as if everything that happened went exactly the way I expected it to go, the client should feed off this and maintain some semblance of calm.  Even when things do not go our way, the first inkling that there is panic or concern, the client will feed off this and begin to doubt my abilities.  So I think of the flight attendant.  Even when there are dramatic ups and downs and rough times, I keep my cool so that the clients never need to doubt that their matter is in good and capable hands.

 Why do I bring this up now, then?  Because now is a challenging time for everyone.  The economy is unstable and our clients look to us for comfort that things will get better, that there will be better days.  And if we show that we have it all under control, that we are not panicking, that none of this is unexpected or surprising, our clients will find the comfort they are seeking, the stability through the turbulence.

 So this week, friends, let’s show out clients that we have it all under control.

Inspiration

Well friends, the time has come. Eleven weeks, eleven emails, eleven new things to say. You knew it would happen, you hoped against hope that it wouldn’t, but alas, there was no hope. Writer’s block has reared its ugly head.

Yes friends, my usual practice of writing my email on Friday afternoon was altered by my attendance at the Dodgers playoff game, err, I mean, my sickness… So it is now Sunday evening and I am raring to go with the next email, but I’ve got nothing.

Amy and I were on our way home from a play (Guys & Dolls at Thousand Oaks, go see it) with Brooklyn snoring in the backseat and I joked that I had nothing to write so I was going to stand in our library until inspiration hit me. She suggested that I also peruse the LA Times and Santa Clarita newspaper, for inspiration is everywhere. And that got me to thinking. Inspiration IS everywhere.

I get my inspiration from lots of different places. My daughter’s giggles, my wife’s loving smile, a good book, and sometimes a loud and screaming heavy metal song. And it is these types of inspiration that motivate me to be better and to work harder. But similar to our discussion last week, I get my inspiration from observations of other people. I take the good with the bad. I see the best and worst in people and use them as guiding lights for how to live my life. But whatever the inspiration, the missions are the same. Grow, learn, and improve.

And yet, it is easy to forget what is inspirational about life while trying to get through life’s challenges. So I try to take a breath every once in awhile to regroup and refocus and see the big picture, establish that life is a forest, not just row after row of trees… Who knows, maybe one of you will be the inspiration this week for me to navigate further into the forest. Any volunteers?