“I remember every wand I’ve ever sold, Mr. Potter.”

Friends:

Did you hear the news about the new Robert Galbraith book that isn’t technically by Robert Galbraith but was actually by Harry Potter’s own JK Rowling? A detective novel released in April under the pseudonym of Robert Galbraith that sold only 1,300 copies in the US just happens to be by JK Rowling so now, of course, it is getting international attention and is skyrocketing up the bestseller charts. As a lover of literature and, of course, someone who once had visions of writing the “Great American Novel,” the story of Robert Galbraith/JK Rowling is truly depressing.

Why is it depressing, do you ask? Whether or not you agree that Rowling is a good writer or a good storyteller, it is safe to say that she has talent and that people enjoy reading her books. And yet Robert Galbraith, the exact same person, couldn’t sell a lick of books. It just goes to show that having talent is no guarantor of success, and it’s unfortunate. Because we know that, in all disciplines – not just writing- there are tremendously talented people out there who never get the notoriety or success which they so justly deserve.

When you go to a book store (if you can find one) or troll the online stores, you can sometimes be overwhelmed by the hundreds of thousands of books that are out for consumption, whether they be fiction or mystery, romance or science fiction, nonfiction or travel, cookbook or religion. With all of those books to choose from, there always has to be a “best” and you would think that the cream would rise to the top. But that simply isn’t the case. For every great book that is read by millions of people there is an exceptional book that is read by only 1,300. And for every terrible book that is read by millions of people… you get the picture.

I used to think, in my younger years, that it must be easy to get a book published because, in all seriousness, how many people out there truly have the talent to write a book? Naiveté rears its ugly head because I have read so many terrific books that have never cracked the bestseller list. And I have read so many dreadful books that spent years on the top of the charts.

And this latest episode with JK Rowling is a perfect demonstration of it. You could be the best writer in the world, or the best chef in the world, or the best singer in the world, or the best athlete in the world, but if you don’t figure out a way to get recognized, your talent may never be shared with the rest of the world. For some people, that may be perfectly fine; but for writers or actors or singers or performers, what good is having a talent if there is no one to receive it? The best actor in the world is nothing if he plays to an empty stage. Doesn’t the writer write so that people will read? Doesn’t the singer sing so that people will hear?

What must it be like to be a talent that never gets discovered? How many “Great Gatsbys” have been written over the years that were never discovered because, for some reason or other, the author just was never in the right place at the right time? (And I shudder to use this analogy because I am not a big fan of that book.)

So what do the rest of us do, those of us who have talent or think that we have talent? Do we pack it all in and give up? Do we simply forego our dreams and aspirations and live with the knowledge that we never achieved the success we believed we so richly deserved? We like to believe that there are no overnight successes anymore, that people have to pay their dues in order to achieve greatness. But how long do you scrape and kick before discouragement overtakes you? How long would Robert Galbraith have had to write before achieving HIS success, the success that was bestowed upon him simply by virtue of his being a pseudonym for one of the most successful authors in history? It is discouraging to say the least.

And this isn’t just about writing. It is about any discipline – accounting, the law, insurance, athletics, cooking, you name it. You know the old philosophical question about a tree falling in a forest and no one around, does it make a sound. Well—if someone has talent and no one recognizes it, then who is to say the talent existed at all? The mountain seems like such a steep climb to get to a place where the talent is acknowledged that it would be so easy to quit. Robert Galbraith is a perfect example of that—it took a famous writer to make Robert Galbraith a star. And if Robert Galbraith had just been Robert Galbraith? We may never have found out about him…

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“O-bla-di, o-bla-da, life goes on, brah!…”

Friends:

Well, I am sure you were expecting some commentary on the Zimmerman verdict, especially in light of my commentary on the Casey Anthony verdict; however I simply don’t have the energy to address all of the issues and the myriad of thoughts that are going through my mind, both as an attorney and as a parent.  Regardless of whether you believe that the verdict was a symbol or a travesty of justice, I am sure that everyone will agree that the entire episode was a tragedy, and one which could have been and should have been avoided.  If anything, as parents we have a responsibility to use this tragedy as a learning tool.

And speaking of learning tools…

My wife and I took our daughters to the Aquarium of the Pacific this weekend and while we were there we saw a little girl, probably my older daughter’s age, who was handicapped and walking with a walker which supported her back and arms.  She had braces on the lower parts of her legs and clearly had difficulty walking.  At one point Brooklyn mentioned to me something about the little girl and I asked her if she wanted to go say hello to her.  Kind of odd, I agree, for a kid to just out of the blue go say hello to another kid, but I wanted Brooklyn to know that just because the other girl walked differently and had a strange looking contraption assisting her, it didn’t mean that she was someone to shy away from or be afraid of.  I certainly remember being Brooklyn’s age and being afraid of people in wheelchairs so I wanted Brooklyn to know that there was no reason to be afraid of a little girl.

It’s at times like these that I as the adult try to remember how I was when I was a kid- was I sensitive to people who had disabilities?  I seem to remember my elementary school having a special education class, but whether there was a lot of interaction with the children with special needs I don’t recall.  But on the occasions when those interactions did take place, how did I do?

The other night I was flipping the channels after the Dodger game had ended and came upon a documentary on HBO called “Miss You Can Do It” which chronicled a beauty pageant for girls and women with special needs, everything from cerebral palsy, Down’s syndrome and other challenges.  My wife and I were riveted; how can you honestly turn off a film that shows girls our daughter’s age with severe challenges who are putting on makeup and getting their hair done and being treated like the beautiful people that they are?  You could see how excited the participants were to be there, how much they had been looking forward to the pageant and how, for one weekend at least, they didn’t feel different. 

So many thoughts ran through my mind as I watched the film.  Amongst them were extreme sadness for the girls who surely have a tough road ahead of them, a lifetime of doctors, askance looks and hardship; compassion for the parents who have in many situations had to give up their lives to care for their girls; and immense wonder and admiration for the pageant’s judges and administrators, the people who put the pageant together and give so selflessly so that these girls can forget their disabilities and challenges, even for one weekend, and have fun and be treated as the beautiful people they are.

Unfortunately, another thought that ran through my mind, is one that I am ashamed of—the thought was one of gladness that it wasn’t me and my girls on that show.  Is that selfish?  Is it wrong?  After the film was over I immediately wanted to go to my girls’ rooms and wake them up and give them a hug and thank whatever being is out there for giving me such healthy and beautiful girls.  It’s one of those things that you cannot help but feel when tragedy befalls someone else—it’s the “Thank God it wasn’t me” feeling and on me it felt shameful.

So when I saw the girl at the Aquarium on Saturday, I couldn’t help but think back to the HBO film and the beauty that those pageant participants radiated and my own sense of shame at feeling such gratitude.  And I figured that the only way to combat my own feelings was to show my girls that the disabilities and challenges of others are not to be feared or discomfited by.  Because so much of our discomfort is due to our own ignorance of the challenges that other people face.  We tend to mock what we don’t understand, especially when we are kids because our knowledge is so limited.  I remember feeling uncomfortable around children with special needs when I was a kid, I admit it.  I was a child, I was ignorant and I knew no better.

I don’t want my girls to feel the same way.  I want them to know that all people have feelings and all people are special and all people want to feel special.  They may be too young to understand it now, but in a few years I hope I remember to find the HBO film to show to them so that they understand better.  In the meantime, I can only hope to show them, when we see or interact with people who have disabilities or challenges, that they are special people and they need to be treated with compassion and sensitivity. 

We as parents sometimes fail to realize the immense responsibility we have to teach our children those life lessons that don’t come from a textbook.  Adding and subtracting, subjects and predicates, those are all well and good.  But if our children are not kind and caring and sensitive to the plight of others, then they won’t be well-rounded individuals.

Have a great week and if you want more information on the pageant, go to http://missyoucandoit.com and grab your tissues.

“This is the face of someone who has fought long and hard for the good of the people without caring much for any of ’em.”

Friends:

Lost amongst all of the celebration of the nation’s 237th birthday is the fact that the Battle of Gettysburg celebrated its 150th anniversary just this past week.  I was in Gettysburg on its 148th anniversary and had some significant thoughts about the battle and its ramifications.  (This aside from it allegedly being one of the most haunted places in the US of which my weak constitution was ever-aware… and I truly believe that my wife’s toothbrush was “taken” while we were there and not simply left behind…)

Here’s what I wrote back then…

The other day I learned an interesting fact about our founding fathers.  Apparently our nation’s second and third presidents, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, both died on July 4, 1826, the 50th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.  As we know, the Declaration of Independence was written by Jefferson and delivered to the King of England, leading to the Revolutionary War and the founding of the United States of America.

At the same time that I was learning this interesting tidbit of trivia, I was watching a television show about someone’s relative who fought in the American Civil War.  And it struck me at that point that the period of time between the death of two of our founding fathers and the Civil War was a mere 35 years– the length of time that I have been alive.  I still consider myself to be fairly young, so to think that only 35 years separated the founding fathers from the Civil War was staggering. 

Which got me to thinking– what would Adams and Jefferson have thought about the Civil War?  A war fought by Americans against Americans, brothers against brothers, fathers against sons… Our founding fathers worked and fought so hard for independence, to be a sovereign nation no longer under the rule of any other nation; so many patriots were killed, and less than 35 years after the death of two of our greatest patriots, the nation was divided in a conflict which threatened to end the union for good.  How would Adams and Jefferson and Washington and Hancock and Patrick Henry and Paul Revere and Israel Bissel and Crispus Attucks have felt about the Civil War??  Wouldn’t they have been appalled by this threat to the Union they worked so hard to create?  How dare these Southerners declare their independence and destroy everything they worked so hard to create!  Who the heck did these people think they were?

And then it occurred to me.  I deal with this every day.  No, not on the level of a nation divided and the death of an ideology… but the disruption of a family’s legacy.  Brother fighting against sister, father fighting against daughter, with the result being the destruction of a family’s estate.  We are seeing so much these days of children who are fighting over assets; those assets that their grandparents worked so hard to create.  Grandparents who struggled through the Great Depression, who are no longer around to see the object of their struggles.  Just like our founding fathers who struggled to create this Union.

Now look, I can play devil’s advocate and I can argue the other side– after all, isn’t that what attorneys do?  I can argue that our founding fathers would have applauded the Southerners for standing up for what they believed in and demonstrating a willingness to die for their cause.  After all, isn’t that what the Patriots did?  Fought for their beliefs and showed that they would die for their cause?  I can see that.  I can also see the same argument being raised in the matters I see every day.  Wouldn’t the grandparents and ancestors approve of efforts to fight for what is right and not allow wrongs to go unpunished?  Sure, I can argue that way–

But at the end of the day, would the founding fathers have approved of the Civil War if its end result was the destruction of everything they had fought so hard to create?  And would the ancestors endorse litigation that threatens to deplete all of the assets that were earned with the years of hard work and exertion?

It may just be my own sensibilities, but I’ve got to think that the founding fathers would have been turning over in their graves about the Civil War.  They had to have wondered what the Southerners were thinking when they seceded from the Union and thought that they could tear apart the nation.  It would have felt like a slap in the face, as if all that they had worked for was stomped on and demolished.  And that isn’t even taking into consideration the merits of the Civil War.  Regardless of whether the impetus for the war was reasonable, was it all really worth the destruction of the nation?

Of course, there is always the flipside– that the strife between the two sides, the strife between siblings, can only be resolved through warfare.  In which case, batten down the hatches and prepare for ultimate devastation, because the wounds that are caused in warfare run so deep as to span future generations.  Ask the Southerners who still fly Confederate flags.