“Dov, you’re always fighting and you’re always in a place where you might get killed.”

Friends:

The Jewish High Holidays start this week and each year as I sit in temple and allow the holiday to envelope me, I am drawn away by the subject matter of the Bible readings associated with the Jewish New Year and I think:  Could simple estate planning have prevented war as we know it?   Ok, so I may be a little facetious, but give it a good hard listen before you discount me as being silly. 

Consider these facts, situations that attorneys like me who litigate probate and trust conflicts and challenging family dynamics see every day:  A man and a woman have a relationship for many years and from that relationship they produce a son.  After 15 years in this relationship, the man divorces, begins a relationship with another woman, subsequently marries that woman and has a son with her.  There is no doubt that the man loves each of his sons equally—but the second wife, she has eyes only for her son and really is not concerned with son #1. 

Well first things first—the father is getting pressure to put something down on paper.  His second wife simply does not want the courts to have to sort through this problem.  Sure, the courts may attempt to equalize things, the court being concerned with equity and fairness, but the second wife certainly doesn’t want the court’s involvement because it gives the first son a fair shake.

What to do, what to do?  Well, an estate plan is a must.  The only way to control “from the grave,” so to speak, is to have a comprehensive plan in place.  How that plan will look, however, depends on many factors, and it may even require the husband and wife to have separate plans.  But it absolutely has to be written down in the proper form for it to be effective.  Otherwise, courts, attorneys, volunteer attorneys and referrees will be in charge of sorting through the mess. 

Think my fact pattern is a far-out prospect?  This is the 21st century.  The family unit is frequently changing due to the prevalence of divorce and it is not uncommon for people to marry twice, three times, four times, or even eight times (Elizabeth Taylor!).  Couple that with the fact that people are living longer and are having kids later in life, the fact-pattern above is becoming more common; in fact, it might be approaching the norm. 

Back to my initial fact pattern.  Take a look at the book of Genesis, Chapter 21, verses 9 and 10.  Ok, nevermind.  I will save you the trouble and give you the cliffs notes version.  Abraham, commonly believed to be the first Jew, was an old man and had had a son with Sarah’s maidservant, Hagar.  The son’s name was Ishmael.  About 15 years later, Sarah was blessed with a son, Isaac.

“Sarah saw the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham playing.  She said to Abraham, ‘Cast out that slave-woman and her son, for the son of that slave shall not share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.’”

Well, I guess that is one way to deal with the situation; the current wife expels the first child and banishes him.  Or, Abraham could have simply gone to the local attorney and had an estate plan prepared.  It is commonly believes that Ishmael was the father of the Arab people, a people who trace their roots back to the first Arab, the banished Ishmael.  Can you imagine the thousands of years of fighting and strife that could have been avoided had Abraham simply drawn up a will and a trust?

Sarah didn’t want her son Isaac to have to share with that other child, Ishmael.  She didn’t want Isaac’s birthright to be divided equally amongst the two boys; she maybe even felt betrayed by Hagar, this woman whom she trusted as her maidservant, who gave Abraham something she herself could not give him, a son. 

It isn’t that farfetched—had Abraham had an estate plan, maybe he could have found a way to equalize the inheritances—Isaac’s bloodline eventually inherited the land of Israel, while Ishmael’s people might feel as if their birthright was stolen from them by the actions of Sarah and they have made it their mission to fight for their inheritance. 

Sounds like every day of my life, arguing in court the division of assets of estates amongst the beneficiaries.  A good estate plan goes a long way.  Having something in writing is key.  Who knows—it could have saved thousands of years of war and strife.  It certainly has the capability of saving years of litigation and unreasonable expense.

Have a great week.

Rob

Advertisements

“Forget it! I’m stayin’ right where I am. It’s gonna take you and the police department and the fire department and the National Guard to get me outta here!”

I’m not one for hyperbole or grand exaggerations.  You do a good job, you do a poor job, there really isn’t any need to be more verbose than that.  Yet it seems that everywhere we look, that was the best, this was great, and they were the worst.  In my eyes, great and best and worst, those words that seem to intonate inclusion in an exclusive club, it just seems like they are tossed around way too much.

You see it all over the media.  That catch by the wide receiver was a great catch.  That movie with the aliens was the worst movie.  That pitching performance was the best I’ve ever seen.  It appears that these words are utilized so often that when something truly great comes along, there are no appropriate words to use anymore.  The only way to truly measure exceptional events is through the passage of time and comparison to those that came before and later.

For example, no one will argue that “Bio-Dome” was the “best” Pauley Shore movie.  Time has been the barometer for his greatness and we have now had the time to compare that movie to his other successes.  While the seriousness of “Jury Duty” was a marked change from his normal comedic fare (wasn’t it?), “Son-In-Law” just doesn’t stand up.  It has taken many years for us to finally be able to anoint that movie as the best.

Or consider the play made by Rafael Bournigal of the Dodgers on the last day of the 1992 season to save the Dodgers’ last place finish—could there have been a greater play than that?  What, you don’t remember it?

With all seriousness, though, everywhere you look you will hear grand exaggerations.  People get caught up in the heat of the moment and for that one instant, that actually was the greatest game they had ever seen, or the best play they had ever seen, or the best movie they had ever seen. 

I mean, seriously, you mean to tell me that for one year George Clooney is the sexiest man alive, but the following year he isn’t?  It isn’t like he had a horrendous disfiguring accident, right, or that he got any less sexy…  But we deal in absolutes and in the here and now.  We constantly overlook history and our place in it.

Which brings me to the current situation of my recent nomination by the San Fernando Valley Business Journal for a prestigious award, the Valley’s Most Trusted Advisors Award.  It is a truly humbling and admittedly embarrassing thing to be nominated for an award like this.  It causes one to be introspective.  The questions of do I deserve this and how am I any more qualified than anyone else.  Have you ever known me to be speechless?  And yet, upon learning of the nomination, no words could be found to express the shock, surprise, and appreciation for it. 

You know how Academy Award nominees try to claim that it is just an honor to be nominated?  We don’t really believe it because we know that they really want to win.  But forever they will be known as an Academy Award Nominee.  So maybe it is just an honor to be nominated.  Sure we all would like to win, but to be singled out as amongst the best, err, really good, of that year, it’s certainly something to be proud of.  Think about it this way—would you rather win the Silver or the Bronze medal?  Bronze right?  Because if you win the silver then you will forever wonder how close you came to winning the gold—a few nanoseconds, a slight turn of the wind, or a minimal crimp in a knee and you’ve got the gold and are immortalized.  Yet the bronze?  You’re just happy to be on the podium, knowing that you were one nanosecond, one mini-stumble, one missed bulls-eye from being off the podium completely. 

Back to my initial point.  We deal in hyperbole and absolutes.  Kirk Gibson had the greatest home run in Dodgers history.  “A View To A Kill” was the best James Bond movie.  George Clooney was the worst on-screen Batman (maybe that is why he lost some of his sexiness from one year to the next?). 

And here I stand (err, sit), a nominee for “Most” Trusted Advisor.  It is quite a burden, actually.  Do I really consider myself be the “Most” trusted advisor?  And if I win, will that mean that I am better than the other nominees or, for that matter, the ones who weren’t even nominated?  Yet for an award to have meaning, to signify excellence, it requires that we place these monikers on people in order for them to stand out.  Thus, “Most,” “Best,” and “Worst.”

So if I am considered to be one of the Valley’s “Most Trusted Advisors,” so be it.  Who am I to argue?  Instead of over-thinking it, wasting more brain cells on whether exclusivity of a word such as “Most” is appropriate, I will simply bask in the glow of being nominated, congratulate my fellow nominees, and take solace in the knowledge that I didn’t come in fourth, just a step off of that podium on which the bronze, silver, and gold stand.

Have a great week.

Rob

“We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive!”

Friends:

The human mind is an absolutely amazing thing.  I’m not talking about the brain, but the mind, that part of your psyche that controls your thoughts and emotions and perceptions.  We all know how valuable and intricate the brain is, its hemispheres and lobes, its folds and cortexes.  But the brain works, in many instances, independently of the mind.  The brain works in many cases involuntarily, controlling your breathing and your dreaming, your heartbeat and digestion.  Or at least that is what I think I remember from 10^th Grade Health class.  But the mind, that’s something different entirely.

As you all know, I’m not a doctor; my knowledge of the human body and its organs is pedestrian at best, but I do know about the mind, that intangible aspect of our being that guards our consciousness and our personality.  It’s our mind that allows us to focus our attention, to study, to create, to envision and to invent.  It also allows us to forget, to rededicate our attention from uncomfortable or distressing events.  Whether it is dropping your youngest child off at college 3,000 miles away or getting into the car knowing that more people die in car accidents than airplane crashes, it is our mind that allows us to overlook those issues, to put them behind us, or just block them out completely, in order to live, to move forward.  Without our strength of mind, we become agoraphobic, paralyzed, stagnant.

I bring this up because of the memory of what happened 10 years ago.  We have all seen the memorials, have shared in moments of silence, and have remembered the heroes who sacrificed so much on that day.  But 10 years is a long time and life, for a lot of us, has continued.  Maybe not entirely the way it was before 9/11, but pretty darn close, right? 

It taught us an important lesson: it taught us that no one is safe.  That terrorists, wherever they are, can find us.  They can take their battle to our shores.  September 11 was only the second time in the last 150 years that there was an attack on American soil and it certainly ranks up there with the attack on Pearl Harbor.  We are not safe.  It may have been airplanes last time; next time it could be a train or a sporting event or a movie theater. 

And yet, we still travel, we still attend sporting events and we still go to movies in droves.  We do this because of the power of our minds, because we have the ability to sense danger, perceive threat, and then force it from our minds to save ourselves from incapacitation.  Lest we go insane, crazy with paranoia and fright.

I bring this up for two reasons; first, obviously, is the reminder of the events of 9/11/01.  The second, though, is my daughter starting first grade.  I don’t know if all parents feel this way, but there is something terrifying about dropping her off at school and watching her walk into the classroom.  Once she is out of my sight, she is out of my control.  I can no longer tie her shoes for her or keep her safe from bullies and skinned knees.  I cannot control what she learns, what she hears, or what she consumes.  It is only the power of the mind which gives me strength to get back in my car and drive to work, to not run after her into the classroom, sweep her into my arms and take her back home.

Our leaders may claim that the war on terror is winnable, that we are close to prevailing.  While I hope that is true, I hold no optimism for its veracity.  For every terrorist we remove from this Earth, ten more join the battle against us. 

And yet, my friends, we win the battle.  We do win, because of the power of our minds.  The terrorists are after us for reasons many of us cannot even comprehend; one reason they despise us so is because of our enjoyment of life, for entertainment, and for fun.  We prevail because we don’t let their actions paralyze us.  We prevail because we don’t let our fear get the best of us.  We prevail because we put aside the threat and the knowledge that there are people out there who don’t know us, never met us, and yet have dedicated their lives to eradicating us… we prevail because we live, because our minds let us.

It is a good thing, a great thing, to remember those who sacrificed their lives on 9/11.  It is a better thing to use that as a renewed motivation to put the fear behind us and live life to its fullest. 

A mind is a terrible thing to waste?  It is a great thing to behold…  It is how, why, we will win.

Have a great week.

Rob

“Out of order. I’ll show YOU ‘out of order’! You don’t know what ‘out of order’ is, Mr. Trask.”

Friends:

 

You all may breathe a sigh of relief today for justice has been served.  Our justice system has succeeded, the process bore itself out to the just and right conclusion and we may all bathe in the glow of comfort that is our judicial system.  Wait, didn’t hear that story?  Neither did I.  But many thanks to the high profile celebrities like Peter Jackson and Johnny Depp and Eddie Vedder who have ensured this victory.

The West Memphis Three – three men who were convicted in 1994 of murdering three boys in West Memphis, Arkansas and who are now walking free because of the generosity of these bastions of Hollywood who made the release of these men their pet projects.  The millions of dollars spent in supporting the defendants’ legal teams, independently investigating the murder, and publicizing the travesty of justice has finally been rewarded.

I don’t usually take positions; I am not one to take a stance and say this is right or that is wrong.  However, being an attorney and hearing of these “victories” makes me sick to my stomach.  You sanctimonious celebrities who think you can throw your weight around and make things happen.  You get on your high horses and find a cause and you fight for it.  Good for you… really, good for you.  I hope you sleep better at night.

Why am I so upset about this?  Frankly, it is a waste of money, but not for the reason you may think.  Certainly justice is the highest priority.  Yet, how many millions of dollars have these people spent in crusading for three men when thousands of other potentially innocent men and women are incarcerated erroneously?  Why these three?  Because their story is so compelling?  Because they saw a documentary about it?  Oh, wait, could it be that Peter Jackson has already obtained the rights to the story and is working on a movie?

These are the two scenarios that we hear most often when the focus is on our justice system:  1) They convicted an innocent man; and 2) They failed to convict a guilty woman (Casey Anthony, anyone?) 

There is an underlying theme which does not rise to the forefront often enough with respect to these two scenarios – there isn’t enough money for prosecutors and policemen to do their jobs perfectly.  They are human and they get it wrong sometimes.  An innocent man was convicted?  Perhaps it was that the police located a suspect, had sufficient evidence to bring charges, and due to budgetary concerns, were told to move on to the next murder and they didn’t follow up on every possible lead.  Oh yeah, and there wasn’t enough funding to do the amount of DNA testing or forensics or whatever to ensure that the police had the right guy.

Did a “guilty” woman go free?  Could it be that the prosecution didn’t locate all of the potential witnesses or analyze all of the evidence prior to trial and they had 50 other cases on their desk that they were also trying to manage because the district attorney’s office put on a hiring freeze?

This is what bothers me about this—these celebrities take on a crusade for one cause when the amount of money that they spent on this crusade could be used to help out thousands of other people.  Millions and millions of dollars of personal assets are being contributed to the defense of the West Memphis Three when the same money could be donated to our justice system as a whole with the improvements being monumental.  I guarantee you that no prosecutor wants to put the wrong guy in jail.  What’s the saying?  “Better 10 guilty men go free than to convict a single innocent man.”  I wholeheartedly believe that the prosecutors live and die this credo.

You want to make a difference?  You certainly have the funding to do it; give the money back to the communities.  Give it to the local law enforcement or to the criminal court system, to the district attorneys’ office.  Do I have to come out and say it?  Give it to the good guys!

This to me feels like an attempt to embarrass the justice system.  “See how clueless the local law enforcement is that they need the Hollywood machers to do the job for them?”

Take a look at some of the people involved in this crusade for the West Memphis Three:

–         Johnny Depp:  arrested in 1994 and 1999

–         Eddie Vedder:  arrested in 1993

–         Henry Rollins:  arrested in 1999

–         Natalie Maines:  husband arrested in 2010

I don’t know what it means that many of the participants had previous run-ins with the law themselves, I just found it interesting.  Want to know what else I find interesting about this whole story?

IT ISN’T 100% GUARANTEED THAT THESE GUYS DIDN’T COMMIT THE MURDERS! 

Yes, take a look at that again.  No one knows whether the men are truly innocent.  How will it look if it turns out that these guys really did commit these heinous murders?  The parties that were thrown to celebrate the release of these criminals will look pretty stupid if the convictions aren’t overturned, won’t they?

I could go on about this and similar topics forever.  The celebrity who complains that teachers don’t get paid enough and the school system is under funded?  Hey buddy, take 1/25^th of the salary you made on your last movie and contribute it to the school system, I guarantee you will change thousands of lives…

This all just makes me sick.  Surely if they were wrongfully convicted they should be set free; but wouldn’t it be better to fix the system itself instead of taking on one charity case?

Have a great week.

Rob