“Ugh! I’m exhausted, it was finger-painting day at school and a five year old boy…”

School is back in session.  For some of you, the kids may be going back to school any day.  For some of us, school has already been in session for two weeks.  And as parents we may feel a little bit of relief that school is back in session.  Summer break has not been quite as relaxing as we recall when we were kids, right?  Trying to find ways to entertain the kids can be quite challenging, so the school year starting up is music to our ears.  Now they are the teacher’s responsibility.

But that isn’t exactly true is it?  Yes, I will give all of the credit in the world to our teachers.  They are amazing people who really find a way to connect with our kids and help them to perform and reach their potential.  Equally as important, though, are the parents, us.  It really cannot be stressed enough how important the parents are.  We need to be active and involved in our kids’ lives and in their educational pursuits.  And imagine the reward!

As adults, we take so many things for granted, skills that we didn’t always have yet now utilize as second nature.  For example, reading.  You are reading these words right now with no problem at all (monosyllabic words will do that) but there was a time when you couldn’t read.  Do you remember?  I sure don’t.  I remember not being able to multiply or calculate long-division, but read… I always knew how to read, didn’t I?

For you– there was a time when you didn’t know about a statute or the difference between a whole-life policy and a term-policy, or what an inspection contingency was.  But the groundwork for that education was lain starting as far back as you can remember and hopefully you had someone instrumental in your home-life who supported you every step of the way.  (Of course, as I sit here now, did I use the word “lain” right or should it have been “laid?”  Must have missed that day of school; I wonder if it was a Rosh Hashanah.)

When I sit down with my daughter who just started kindergarten and try to sound out words like “red” and “am” and “see” I can just see the wheels as they slowly turn in her head, trying to get a handle on the sounds the letters make and how they fit together.  At some point this will all be second nature, but for now, it is the most challenging thing with which she is faced.  And it is SO FRUSTRATING!  Yet, it is so rewarding when she actually gets the word right.

But if parents are not actively involved, whether it be in working on homework, interacting with the teachers, and everyday discussing the school day’s events, we as parents will miss out on these rewarding moments and will be completely oblivious as to our child’s development.

As Brooklyn figured out to read the word “yellow” the other day, I had a dramatic pause and vision into the future of a college graduation.  Sure, I thought with some fear of the years between now and then and the amount of hard word she will put in to get to that accomplishment, but I also thought of the pride that I would have for her accomplishment, knowing how hard it was to read just those first few words…

I am not eager to get there, but I am excited for each new baby step along the way.

And this week, I am going to thank my parents for taking the walk with me.  Thanks Mom and Dad, I couldn’t have done any of it without your help and support. 

Rob

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I feel the need… the NEED for SPEED!”

Friends:  

A few months ago we talked a little about leaders and leadership.  I believe I made a strange yet somewhat plausible argument for wanting to be a sailor in the British Navy in the 1700s, thinking that a fictional character who was on screen for a mere 2 and a half hours exhibited all of the traits of a good leader.  Since that time (more specifically, since Thursday), I have had a chance to reconsider my position.  Identifying your wingman will do that for you.

First, I will make a qualifying statement.  As fair disclosure I attribute all of the tenets and characteristics of a good leader to a program in which I was privileged to be a participant, presented by Colonel Nunnally, Retired, of the United States Air Force.  A former F-16 pilot, Colonel Nunnally demonstrated the traits necessary to be an effective leader, to command your organization.  I implore you to learn more about the program and the leadership characteristics espoused in the “Wingman Leadership Series.”  Check out www.yourwingman.com for more information.  You won’t regret it.

 

As part of the program, we were asked to think of a leader who we would look up to.  Astonishingly enough, as the program continued and the leader character traits were revealed, my selected leader materialized as a true leader, someone who met each of the characteristics.  Want to know who it is?  A hint:  He is not a fictional character.

 

So what makes a good leader?  I do not want to mislead you into thinking that my mere literary endeavor here will answer all of the questions and do justice to the presentation of Colonel Nunnally, so I will simply paraphrase and condense:

 

1) A good leader must commit to his charge.  Not only will he be personally accountable for moving the organization forward, he will also move the organization as a doer, not just as a caretaker.

 

2) A good leader will command three tasks: he will chart the path, develop the culture, and communicate solutions in order to educate.

 

3) A good leader will work to inspire and will invest in the organization. 

 

4) A good leader will create new good leaders.

Sounds like a heavy burden?  I think I have the perfect leader in mind, the person who I would look up to for guidance on how to be an effective leader, the person who knew how to effectively lead, with his passion, his integrity, and his intelligence.  Want to know who it is?

Tommy Lasorda–  was that really so hard to guess?

Aside from the obvious reason (because he managed the Dodgers), I believe that in all fairness he meets all of the criteria suggested by Colonel Nunnally.

1) It is indisputable that he was committed to his charge.  The man really believes that he bleeds Dodger Blue.  Can you think of a leader who so espouses a commitment to an organization or a philosophy more than that?  And the man was a doer– throwing batting practice, coaching third base, whatever was needed, he did it.

2) He charted the path:  Every year in Spring Training the goal of the organization was clear, to win the World Series.  There was never any doubt that a World Series was the goal and nothing less would be tolerated.

3) He developed the culture:  Publicly and privately, he praised the Dodger organization as the best in sports and he demanded that his players adopt the same policy.  Even to this day, many players feel that the Dodger organization was the best that they played for and why they continue to come back to promote the team.

4) He communicated solutions in order to educate: Can you remember a time when Tommy publicly ripped a player?  No, he praised in public and chastised in private.  Players will not want to play for a manager who excoriates them in the media.  But everyone wants to work for someone who praises them in front of everybody. 

5) He worked to inspire his players and his city:  To Tommy Lasorda, the Dodgers were not a team owned by the O’Malley’s or the McCourt’s or anyone else.  It was a team owned and invested in by the City of Los Angeles and its base of operations was Blue Heaven on Earth.  No one could avoid his infectious charisma and passion for the Dodgers and for the product that was put on the field.  He felt as if he personally let the fans down when the team failed to succeed. 

6) He was invested in the team and its outcome:  He has worked for the Dodgers in one capacity or another for almost 60 years.  Can you imagine an employee that dedicated working for your organization?  And this was a team that didn’t always treat him well.  Imagine this:  Tommy was a pitcher with the Brooklyn Dodgers who had gotten the run-around from the team for years, shuttling him back and forth from the minors.  And when he finally made a strong showing to stay with the big club, he was demoted to make room for Sandy Koufax.  Yet his unwavering dedication to the organization remained.

7) He created new commanders:  Take a look at some of his former players who are now managers or have been managers in their own rights– Dusty Baker, Mike Scioscia, Bobby Valentine, Kirk Gibson, just to name a few, not to mention countless pitching coaches, batting coaches, scouts and front office personnel. 

Since I was 5 years old, I always wanted to play for Tommy Lasorda.  He was someone who could kick you in the rear when you needed a push and would be the first out of the dugout to give you a hug when you deserved it. 

Last– if you want to know if someone has got your back, take a listen to this.  Tommy Lasorda let out an obscenity-laced tirade when asked by a reporter what he thought of an opposing player’s three home run game against the Dodgers.  Instead of praising the player, he fights back.  He bled Dodger Blue and nothing else.  A true leader.  http://www.cylive.com/viewRow.do?rowid=28470&tableid=22253&p=1&t=&vt=&q=

This week, I am going to try to have a little Tommy Lasorda in me and be a good leader

Who is your idea of the perfect leader?  Feel free to post it as a comment.  I am interested in who you select.

Have a great week.

Rob

“Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.”

Friends: 

Baseball, pennant fever, catch it!  If you live in Los Angeles and support the local teams, though, things may not be looking too good for October baseball, but nevertheless it can be a fun time.  It can also be a stressful time.  Consider the players themselves.  So much rides on one play, one at-bat, one pitch.  How do they do it?  How do they fail one day and come right back the next day and succeed?

 

Short-term memory loss.  Baseball players need to have it.  All athletes need to have it.  All professionals need to have it.  And that short-term memory loss doesn’t only mean you have to forget the failures.  Unfortunately, we have to forget the successes as well.

 

Do you see the dichotomy in this?  It is our experience that gains us our clients, that gets us the next contract, that keeps us in business.  Without the experience, we are in an uphill battle to find methods to market ourselves.  We have to utilize our long-term memory in order to draw from our experiences so that we can perform at a higher level.  But we cannot look back for too long; the clients may hire us because of our experience, but they have perhaps the shortest memory of anyone.  What is the client’s favorite response?  “What have you done for me lately?”

 

Why is short-term memory loss so important?  Because if you dwell on the failures (or the successes) you will lose sight of the present.  If you continue to focus on the time when things went bad, you will doubt yourself, you will doubt your abilities, and you will lose the confidence of your client.  I defy anyone to tell me that they never suffered a failure.  We all have.  Hopefully the failures are far outnumbered by the successes, but they have been there.  We learn from them and we move on.  It is that simple.  What do we learn?  We analyze why things went wrong and how we can do better.  AND THEN WE FILE IT AWAY!  We have to.

 

The same goes, though, with our successes.  The harm by dwelling on the successes is cockiness.  You might think that cockiness is a good thing, that it can be a strong marketing method.  I don’t agree.  There is a fine line between cockiness and confidence, but I will chose confidence every day of the week.

 

What is the difference?  When you are cocky, you forego preparation, you just think that you are unstoppable.  When you are confident, you trust your abilities and you rely on your experience, your past successes and you duplicate the steps you followed previously.

 

Like I said, a fine line, but one that clients are so adept at identifying.  They can see it, they can smell it.  Cockiness is simply a mask.  Judges are not fooled by it, consumers are not fooled by it, no one is fooled by it.  Take the good with the bad, pinpoint what went wrong and what went right, then file it away and don’t dwell on it.

 

Short-term memory loss.  We have to possess it otherwise our past will debilitate us for our future.

 

Have a great week and I hope you forget this post.  I already have.

 

Rob

 

www.ahslawyers.com

www.robcohen13.wordpress.com

twitter:  robcohen13

 

 

“What meaning of this, Mr. Twain? What IS THE, Mr. Wang! What IS THE meaning of this?”

Friends: 

It is a week of anniversaries.  Eight years ago this week I married the woman of my dreams and one year ago this week I wrote and blasted my first email.  Some of you have been with me since the beginning and some of you found out about these little gems sometime later, jumping on the bandwagon after it became super-popular to do so.  Nevertheless, it has been 51 straight weeks of new material (all of which you can read right now at www.robcohen13.wordpress.com).  Some were good, some were less-so, and others were just downright silly.  I admit it and I am ok with it.  But I hope that if anything, they were entertaining.

 

For those of you who joined us late, I figured it was as good a time as any to do a re-print.  Many of you have asked for it, nee demanded it, so who am I to disappoint my loyal readers?  (Ok, in all fairness, none of you asked for it, I think it was one of the voices in my head.)

 

So let’s take a journey, shall we, back to where it all began.  The very first email that I sent out.  It was an experiment and those of you who have given me such positive feedback (even glowing reviews at times), it is your fault I continue to bombard you with new content each week.  But it was the first email that laid the groundwork for the next 50 weeks, and it was that first email that explained why I do this each week.  Sure, I like to see my words in print and I get a special kind of thrill when I receive such complimentary… compliments.  But that was not why I started it.

 

Thus, without further adieu (and you, and you and you and you– sorry, Brooklyn was watching “The Sound of Music” the other night):

 

 

Friends and Colleagues: 

I hope you enjoy my first foray into a weekly email, simply to let you know that I am thinking about you and wishing you a prosperous and successful week.  My goal is to provide you at the beginning of each week with a short email with some of my thoughts, favorite quotes, maybe a joke or two, or other tidbits that I think you might enjoy.  This is not a newsletter and I will not market products or attempt to hit you up for business. If you get bored or do not wish to receive the emails each week, please let me know; I promise I will not be offended.  But I simply want to remind you all that your individual successes are important to me and I am dedicated to assisting you in any way that I can.  All you have to do is ask.

 

With that caveat in mind, here goes:

 

 

 

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.”  — Charles Dickens (A Tale of Two Cities; 1859)

 

 

My Thoughts:  Sounds a lot like the present despite being written 150 years ago.  With matters being what they are, and all of us facing challenges on a daily basis due to the economy, international strife, and maybe even problems on the home front, it certainly is considered by some to be the worst of times.  But it can also be the best of times.  Some of life’s most amazing comebacks, successes, and accomplishments are generated by man’s struggle with life’s challenges.  What better time to refocus energy on what is positive, such as life, health, family, and friends?  It also allows a terrific opportunity to reflect on what things in life have been positive over time and what have not and perhaps begin to make changes that will prepare you for when things turn around again, as they inevitably will.

 

Have a great week!

 

 

Rob

 

 

There you have it.  I promise, next week, no lame cop outs… new material!

 

Have a great week.

 

Rob

“Here in Cleveland? I didn’t know they still had a team! Yup, we’ve got uniforms and everything…”

As many of you may know, this past weekend I got to experience a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity… playing a baseball game at Dodger Stadium.  Growing up a Dodger fan and going to probably a hundred games in my life, the idea of actually stepping foot on that hallowed ground was the stuff of whimsy.  (Yes, I used the word “whimsy”… impressed?)  But for one three-hour period, it was my field.  At the start, I felt out of place.  This was the field that Sandy Koufax played on, Don Drysdale, Duke Snider, Steve Garvey.  Not Rob Cohen… but after awhile, it felt natural.  Want to know why?  It may sound corny, but here goes:  I had my Dodger uniform on.

Sure, it wasn’t a uniform that I was given when I signed a multi-million dollar contract.  I actually had to pay for it (well, Dad did, thanks Dad!); but it sure looked legitimate; I even fooled myself.  Wearing that uniform, I actually felt like I belonged there.  It made me think about how perception can be changed just by the clothes you are wearing.  Taking the field under the lights, wearing my Dodger blue with royal blue socks, royal blue belt, Dodger hat and the Dodger jersey with the number “13” on the front and back and the name “R Cohen” stitched across the back, I belonged there.  No security guard was going to escort me off the field because I was trespassing. 

 

We all get into circumstances where we feel overwhelmed or out of place.  I remember the first time I went to court after I had passed the BAR exam.  For those of you who don’t know, law school does not prepare you to be an attorney; it prepares you to take the BAR exam.  So going to court, by yourself, for the first time, it can be daunting.  But that morning I remember distinctly putting on my uniform and walking into court like I belonged there.  The bailiff did not ask me what I was doing there; the judge did not look at me like I was there because my dad took his son to work that day.  I was in my uniform and I belonged there.  I was legitimate.

 

Everyday we put on our uniforms.  We dress a certain way because we want to give off an impression about us.  Maybe we want to land a client and wear our best suit because we want to impress him or her.  Maybe we wear casual attire because we want to promote an air of congeniality, not aggression.  Everything about our outward appearance is designed to promote a specific response from the people with whom we interact.  What is the saying?  You never get a second chance to make a first impression?  So much of how people think about us is tied to how we appear.  Do we carry ourselves with confidence?  Are we unkempt and shabby-looking?  Is the tie askew or the shirt wrinkled? 

 

Do you think about these things on a daily basis?  I know I don’t; there are some days, it is easier to just wear jeans and a shirt to work, and sometimes that is ok.  Sometimes I want to be known as the guy who rolls up his sleeves and works hard, who isn’t afraid to get dirty.

 

But back to my Dodger uniform.  Our appearance has two resultant affects.  One is the way the public sees you.  The second is how you see you.  Amy says I am vain because I have never met a mirror in which I didn’t stare at myself.  She may be right; or, she may just see me as reinforcing my perception of myself.  I put on a suit and tie, I am an attorney to be reckoned with.  I have on my uniform and no one is going to tell me I don’t belong there. 

 

This week, dress to impress… yourself.

 

Have a great week.