“And from this slumber you shall wake, when true love’s kiss, the spell shall break.”

 Friends–

By now, hopefully you have heard the good news that the addition to our family arrived, safely and in good health.  Everyone is now home, and here is where the hard work begins.  Do you remember what it is like to have an infant in the house, who can’t eat for herself, change herself, or ask for help when she needs things?

 

 Allow me to let you in on a little secret:  most people cannot function without getting a good night’s sleep.

Sleep is a naturally recurring state characterized by reduced or lacking consciousness, relatively suspended sensory and non-motor activity – inactivity of nearly all voluntary muscles.  Sounds kind of technical, so let’s break it down to its roots.  It is recovery time.  It is when you put aside all of your stresses and turn your mind off.  Your body recovers, your mind recovers, your sanity recovers.  

  

Why is sleep so important?  Not only does it help to reduce the stress you have in daily life by permitting you to put it aside for a few hours, it also helps you to function the next day and the next.  We have all experienced the affect that a bad night sleep will have; it can reverberate through the rest of the week.  

  

We need sleep to think clearly, to react quickly, to maintain a good general mood, and decrease the risk of high blood pressure and heart disease, amongst others.  

  

So why do I bring this up?  I have an infant… sleep is now a thing of the past.    Oh yeah, another benefit of getting enough sleep?  It allows you to create memories more easily. 

  

So I have come up with a theory.  When my first daughter was born, I must have been sleep deprived because I was unable to create the memories of being sleep deprived.  Which means I don’t remember how I dealt with the sleep deprivation last time, so I don’t know how to deal with it now.

 

All I know is that I need to get more zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……………….

 

www.ahslawyers.com

www.robcohen13.wordpress.com

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“Is this an example of your bedside manner, doctor?”

Friends– 

 

I apologize.  A day late and a dollar short?  Well, maybe just a day late.  But I have a good excuse.  Sitting at the hospital for 2 straight days waiting for our second child to be born prevented me from preparing my weekly missive.  Did you miss me?  Well, as an update… no baby yet, but hopefully tomorrow.  I guess she is just too darn warm in that womb!

 

But sitting in a hospital, waiting, waiting, waiting and wondering, wondering, wondering sure does put one in an nervous condition.  What is that beeping?  Why is that machine doing that?  Why does it hurt when I touch there?  When will this end?  Why is the baby not here yet??  I mean, you hear that he is a good doctor, but why is he not here answering my questions?

 

Think doctors are unique in that respect?  No!  We talk about doctors having good bedside manners, but what about lawyers and real estate agents and financial advisers and insurance brokers?  We all need to have a good bedside manner.

 

In today’s age of easy access to information and millions of “do-it-yourself’ers”, the bedside manner could be the difference between simply landing a client and keeping that client. 

 

I am a firm believer that there are two components to being a successful professional:  1) be a good practitioner; and 2) have a good bedside manner.  No, it doesn’t apply in all circumstances, but it is sure a good place to start.

 

Component #1 — Be a good practitioner.  Goes without saying, doesn’t it?  Be good at what you do, whether it be managing money, advising as to the right insurance to buy, or setting up the absolute best business entity for the new endeavor.  Be good at what you do; no one wants a bumbler to safeguard their $100,000 or draft the document that will ensure that the children will be provided for argue to keep them out of jail.

 

But Component #2 is just as important — Have a good bedside manner.  People hire you not only because they know you are a good practitioner, but also because they are comfortable with you, they trust you.  The way to build trust is to be forthcoming and up front with them.  Guide them through the process, describe what is happening, even prepare them for the worst if it so applies.  But keep them informed.  Answer their questions, make them feel comfortable with the process.  There is nothing worse than being in the dark.  Even though you might sell 100 life insurance policies a year, your client only buys 1.  You may go to court every day to argue motions, but your client has never seen the inside of a courtroom prior to today.  And you may manage $50 million dollars in assets, but your clients only care about their $750,000.

 

When your clients come to you, they have made the concerted decision not to do it themselves, not to go on the internet and try to incorporate their own business or buy their own insurance.  They have determined that it is a good investment to have a professional do it; to have YOU do it.  They know you have the acumen, but do you have the patience to answer all of their questions?  The determination to make them your number 1 priority?  The understanding that this may be just another account for you, but it is the most important thing in your clients’ lives? 

 

Sitting alone, in a room, wondering what that beeping is, why that alarm is going off, or why the baby still hasn’t shown her beautiful face… at times like these, you want a good practitioner, but you also want someone with a good bedside manner.

 

Do you have it in you to be both?

 

Rob

 

 www.ahslawyers.com

www.robcohen13.wordpress.com

Take It To The Mattresses?

For some reason I have been hearing a lot lately that the legal system isn’t fair and that it caters to the rich.  We have all thought this at one time or another, whether it was the OJ Simpson trial or the preferential treatment that celebrities receive, we have all questioned whether the law can be molded and shaped according to how much money you have to throw at it.

 

As much as I would like to tell you that this is not the truth, that the justice system is blind and unconcerned with the sizes of the parties’ wallets, I am reticent to do so.  The reason being, because in many instances it is true.  The fundamental tenets of justice, right and wrong, and truth are so infrequently found in our halls of justice that they are utilized more as whimpers of protest when the justice system “fails.”

 

For example, as you are probably aware, anyone can file a complaint.  Throw some words on a piece of paper, format it appropriately, attach the required forms, pay your filing fee, and VOILA!, you have filed your complaint.  No one reads it at the courthouse to determine if it is legitimate, if it is appropriate, or if the claims can be substantiated.  Were the words on the right paper and did the check clear?  Congratulations, you have a court date.  Which means that the defendant now has to make an appointment with an attorney and receive the bad news:  litigation is expensive and in many instances is a classic demonstration of Darwin’s theory of “survival of the richest,” er… I mean “survival of the fittest.”

  

W.C. Fields once said, “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.”  He left one part out.  “And if neither of those work, just outspend them.”

  

I typically hear the lament from defendants, especially those who are adamant about their honesty and righteousness, that it isn’t fair, why can’t we just go into court and tell the judge the truth?  Eventually that can happen, but you have to pay to play.  Whereas the judicial system is predicated on the fundamentals of fairness, such that each party has the right to engage in the same processes and strategies, the fact of the matter is that depositions, motions, large amounts of discovery, third-party subpoenas, and jury trials are more palatable to those who can afford it than to those who are simply trying to stay afloat.  At the end of the day, if you cannot afford to keep playing the game, no one will care if you were right and the other side was wrong.  The game will be over.

 

The alternative is the litigant representing himself/herself or seeking “bargain-basement” representation.  In either case, caveat emptor cannot be ignored.

 

Or, there is another alternative:  avoid litigation altogether.  Don’t put yourself in the position of having to play the litigation game and watch your retirement accounts become someone else’s retirement accounts.

 

In my practice, I deal typically with two types of disputes: 1) business disputes; and 2) probate and trust disputes.  In many of these situations, the disputes being litigated are avoidable.  I won’t give you all of my secrets, but I can tell you one thing that will help– write it down, write it down, write it down.  Document everything.  It saves the court from having to read the minds of the parties and try to guess what each side had originally intended.  But more importantly, have an attorney draft it.   Make the relationship crystal clear so that everyone knows who will be doing what.  And with probate and trust litigation, have a proper estate plan drafted; don’t rely on handwritten wills or joint tenancies or any other method to address property ownership after death other than a strong and proper will and/or trust.

 

A few weeks ago, it was national news that Jamie McCourt, a lawyer, didn’t read her own post-marital agreement because it was long and boring.  Having heard that, a client of mine called and asked why her contract had to be so long, why couldn’t it be a few pages long.  Both sides knew what they were responsible for, so why make the agreement 20 pages long?

 

I hate to say this, because it promotes the stereotype of lawyers as charging by the word, but the longer the agreement is, the more likely it will address every possible scenario, so that the court system is not required. 

 

 

I can’t say that all litigation is avoidable; it certainly isn’t.  But to the extent that it is, why not do everything in your power to keep away from the halls of justice?  Is it wiser to spend the money to have the attorney do it right the first time, then to spent 10 times that amount litigating?

“A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no?”

History– it’s a strange thing, you think?

 

We study history for many reasons.  To learn about events, sure.  To learn about what events led to those events.  And how events led to even other events.

 

For example– we learn about World War I.  We learn about the events that led to World War I, including the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand by Gavrilo Princip in Sarajevo, and we learn that the failures of society to adequately address the conclusion of World War I eventually led to World War II.  We learn about events and trace the decisions that people made and how those decisions impacted later events.

 

And for this reason, history is sanitized.  The actors are second-guessed.  It isn’t an intended by-product of the educational process, but we cannot help it.  If this hadn’t happened, then that wouldn’t have happened.  If Eisenhower and Kennedy had not sent troops to Vietnam in the late 1950s and early 1960s, then the Vietnam War would never have happened 15 years later.  (or so some theorists theorize)

 

But if we don’t study history, it is bound to repeat itself, you say.  And you wouldn’t be wrong and I am not advocating for dispensing with historical study altogether.  That would be ludicrous.

 

However, I think it sometimes needs to be studied from a different perspective.  Instead of looking at events with 20/20 vision and determining what went wrong or what decisions were made that led to certain events (such as the dignitary mission to Japan orchestrated by Theodore Roosevelt which some historians contend led to the bombing of Pearl Harbor), maybe we should view history in a vacuum.  Isolate and separate what came next and examine the actions of the participants at the time they took place.  Try to place ourselves in the positions of the actors, use the information they had, and examine whether the decisions that were made were appropriate.  You might be surprised.  You might believe that the actions were right, even though they later led to catastrophe.  That is how you learn from the actions of history.

 

How do you do that?  Study the literature.  Literature and history together?  YES!  Study the literature from the era; look at what people were writing at that time.  Instead of reading historical fiction which attempts to recreate a time period and historical era, read the literature which actually came out of that era.

 

I recently read a collection of stories by the Yiddish author Sholem Aleichem, someone who many called the Jewish Mark Twain.  Aleichem died in 1916 and is most remembered for his creation of the character Tevye, immortalized on stage and screen in “Fiddler on the Roof.”  (cure “If I Were a Rich Man” and try to get it out of your head for the rest of the day.)

 

But he also wrote, among others, stories about a 9-year old boy named Motl (not like the Comfort Inn) who journeyed from Russia to America in the 1910s.  During this journey, his family made a few stops in Germany along the way.  Consider this: 

 

“All three women, as I’ve told you, are not terribly pleased with Germans.  I don’t know why.  I kind of like them.  If we weren’t going to America, I’d stay here forever and ever.”

 

After reading this I was struck with the impact of history.  This was a statement uttered by a 9-year old character, but clearly illustrating the sentiment of its author, an individual who journeyed through Germany in the 1910s and died in 1916, merely 20 years before life for Jews in Germany became hell on earth.

 

We take our understanding of history and feel sad for these characters who actually thought that Germany would be a safe-haven for Jews when compared with the pogroms of Russia.   How could they not have known what would befall them had they stayed, as so many of their compatriots did, intentionally or unintentionally?  Take your knowledge of what came next out of the equation.  Think of what these people were running from.  Think of the information that was available to them at the time; the more-developed society when compared with the little village in Russia. 

 

The sentiment about Germany isn’t so hard to understand.  People did emigrate from Russia to Germany, thinking they were finding a better life.  And they did… for a short time.  Which is why it also isn’t that far-fetched that these same people who were rescued by Germany a mere 20 years earlier, were so slow to realize that the darkest of dark days were fast approaching.

 

Man, I LOVE history!