I confess that I was very close to ending these weekly posts.  After last week’s debacle I truly felt like the stimulation and enjoyment that I get out of writing was gone and I was ready to turn to other endeavors, maybe creative writing or just hanging them up for good.  Just goes to show you that sometimes one bad apple can spoil the bunch. 

But just to be clear, I want to make the following known:  no, I was not sleeping on the couch nor was I in the doghouse.  In fact, my wife didn’t get on my case about my post from last week (seems she understood that what I was trying to say was a compliment to her) but it was someone else who made a comment to her that caused her to request that I send out the correction.  I appreciate those of you who responded with bewilderment and support for the original content of the post and it was because of those responses that I decided not to bring these to an end but to give it another shot and see who I can piss off this time.

Just the other day, as I was sipping on my tasty, frosty 32-ounce beverage, it occurred to me that I was enjoying one of the many freedoms afforded to Americans.  I believe the Declaration of Independence states that all men are created equal and that we are endowed with certain unalienable rights, including life, liberty, and as much soda as we can ingest.

Wait, the Declaration of Independence doesn’t say that?  Well, I’m no lawyer, so maybe I am confused—is it in the Constitution?  Bill of Rights?  Oh, so that’s why the state of New York is able to propose legislation concerning my imbibing of soda pop!  (I’m sure someone calls it soda pop someplace, right?)

If you haven’t heard, apparently Mayor Bloomberg of New York has proposed a ban on the sale of large-sized sugar-sweetened drinks (over 16 ounces) in restaurants, delis, sports arena, theaters, and food carts.  The 20 ounce cokes that are sold by street vendors are so much more deadly than the chili dogs with onions, cheese, and mustard on the sesame seed bun!  This, by the way, is in effort to curb obesity in New York City and, hopefully, the world and is expected to be approved by the New York City Board of Health. 

Remember when I was ranting last week about how there were no socially or politically redeeming measures on the ballot and that I felt as if my right to vote was being taken from me?  Well let me present Exhibit “A.”  Can you think of anything more asinine than legislating what people eat and drink?  Can we all say “ridiculous?”

Look, I am all for encouraging people to eat better, take better care of themselves, work out, don’t smoke, and all that other stuff.  But what gives the government the right to force it on us?  If I want to drink a 44-ounce Diet Coke on my way to the office every morning, then why can’t I?  Isn’t this a free country?

Wait, I have a better question:  What year are we in?  This is the 21 century right, not the Roaring 20’s when Prohibition was in effect?  Didn’t the government learn its lesson when it outlawed alcohol that only bad things can happen when the government’s will is forced on the masses?

You see, the government believes that we as a society are incapable of taking care of ourselves so they feel it is necessary to force it on us.  Next thing you know, they will outlaw pizza and cheeseburgers and force us to join health clubs and send us all treadmills for our living rooms—which will not have televisions in them, by the way, because television rots our brains.

Am I the only one who sees this as a serious violation of our rights?  It’s just a slippery slope to the Orwellian vision of the future.  (I think, I haven’t really read “1984” yet, but I plan to.)  Let us eat what we want.  Let us drink what we want.  As long as we aren’t hurting other people, let us do whatever the heck we want to our own bodies.  As far as I am concerned, it is my own body, and if I want to drink 96 ounces of Mountain Dew, so be it!  The government doesn’t know if I am going to drink and then sit at a desk all day or if I am a professional sprinter.  My body = my responsibility.  Not the government’s!

Seriously, is there anything more ignorant than this law?

Slurp, slurp, slurp.  Ahhhh……